Chapter 1

Tony

Tony Perotta cringed as his wife, Brenda, swore and gave him the finger. She started the truck and peeled out of the parking lot spewing every filthy name in English that he knew, and some he had never heard before. Part of him wished he'd kept his mouth shut, but the other part of him was glad she had given Hope back her manuscript even though his wife had thrown it on the ground and made a scene in the process.

He glanced at Brenda, who continued raging with a wild look in her eyes. But he'd learned how to tune her out in order to survive. Never before had she looked as unattractive to him as she had at that moment. Now he wondered how he'd ever fallen in love with her in the first place.

The ugliness and hate emitting from her as she spewed her anger filled the truck in such a tangible way that he shivered. It felt like something evil lurked inside the cab and he wanted to make it go away, but didn't know how.

How was he going to make it through the next day with this woman without hurting her? She'd done nothing but curse at him and humiliate him in every way possible since she discovered his affair. He'd never felt more pathetic than the moment he saw Hope gaping as his wife slapped him. He'd never raised a hand to her before, but if she didn't stop her ranting soon, he might just do that to get her to stop.

The only thing holding him back was his love for his son. His child had done nothing wrong, yet he was stuck in the middle of their hostility. And if he did anything to hurt Brenda further, she'd use it against him to get full custody of their child. If only she could see how much her behavior was hurting their son. But she was too angry. Maybe if they moved out of town and got away from all of the reminders that would help.

He still had one pending application left for a job at an alcohol treatment center in Flint, Michigan. If they hired him, he'd have continued health insurance coverage for his family and a higher salary. Better yet, he'd have an excuse to move as far away from Crandall, New York, as he could possibly get. He didn't want the temptation of being so close to Hope. Not when she kept rejecting him and he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

He couldn't blame her for avoiding him. Not after the way he'd treated her. And from what he could tell, her husband was a strong, capable man who supported his wife despite knowing what she'd done. That took guts. He couldn't help admiring Hope's husband for that, but also pitied Hope if she had returned to a sexless marriage. She deserved more than that.

Warmth shot through him when he thought about how tender-hearted and sweet she was. So opposite of Brenda. When he'd first met his wife, her spunk and passion turned him on, but now it was like poison to his soul. He longed for peace in their home and all he got was grief. He'd done wrong by Brenda. He knew that. But enough already! How many apologies did she need to hear?

He thought about Hope again and the way her eyes had shone in the courtroom with a contented glow, like she'd been recently satisfied by her husband. An intense surge of jealousy shot through him at the thought of Hope enjoying her marriage when his was pure torture. He used to be able to bring that look of joy and satisfaction to her beautiful face. He didn't want another man to do that even if she was married to him.

Glancing at his wife, who had finally stopped yelling, he noted the tears now streaming down her face. She was trembling, and strangely quiet. Had she said something he'd needed to hear, but missed? What if it was something critical? He didn't dare ask. He decided to tune in from this point on.

"I hate you for what you've done to destroy my life," she whispered, her voice still scratchy from yelling, "and our son's."

"I know. I am sorry, my sweet." He tried to touch her arm but she smacked it away.

"Don't call me that. Don't you ever call me that again."

"I meant it in nice way." He frowned. "Why must you be so hateful to me?"

She ignored his question and sniffed. "Did you ever call her that?"

"What? My sweet?"

"Yes." Several fresh tears trickled down her cheeks.

He shrugged. Had he? He couldn't remember. "I do not believe so."

"You're a lying scumbag," she hissed.

"Just because I do not remember does not make me liar."

"I don't believe anything you say anymore."

"Is nothing I can do. I say I am sorry. I say I make it up to you. But you just want to make my life living hell. Is not easy to live with angry woman. Divorce would be much less stress on me."

She shot him a dark look. "Which is why I refuse to let you divorce me and I'm sure as hell not divorcing you. Not now. I don't want your life to be easy. I want you to hurt like you've hurt me."

"Is working. I do hurt. Does this make you happy?"

Her shoulders sagged. "No. But I still won't divorce you."

Part of him was elated at that declaration because it meant no custody battle in court, and the other part was completely stumped. She'd told him every day since she found out that she would divorce him and now she refused to set him free? It made no sense.

"Aren't you going to ask me why not?"  She sneered at him as she pulled into the driveway on their property, which was still pending sale.

"You will tell me even if I do not ask you."

She slammed the truck into park, unclipped her seat belt, and turned to face him. "Because I'm pregnant, you jerk!"

Bile rose in his throat. She had to be joking, but that wasn't something she'd joke about. His stomach clenched and he tried to sound cheerful. "Is good we have another child. This may help us work together to fix our marriage."

"The hell it will! I should have stayed away from you when I first suspected you were getting laid on the side. But I wanted to believe you, and now I'm frickin' pregnant."

She started sobbing uncontrollably. At least that explained her irrational behavior. She had been a mess during her first pregnancy as well. He wished he didn't know she was bipolar, but she refused to consider getting help, let alone meds. The one time she had tried them she'd said she didn't like them. He hadn't liked the changes in her either, but at least she wasn't mean.

"What you want to do?" While he didn't believe in abortion, in this case it might not be a bad thing.

"I'm having this baby. I need your insurance, but I refuse to live in the same town as that whore."

Her tears suddenly dried up as quickly as they'd poured down.

He hated it when she called Hope degrading names. He clenched his teeth. "We will move. I still have job possible in Flint where they call for second interview. We will not lose insurance if I transfer jobs in same company."

"Did you tell them it was an emergency since you were let go from your job here?"

He nodded. "I explain budget cuts but they know this. I do best I can, but I must wait. Should not be more than few days at most, they said."

Reaching for the door handle, he paused when Brenda touched his leg. He watched her warily, unsure because her voice suddenly turned quiet. That was when she scared him most. "I need you, Tony. I don't like you at all right now, but I need you."

That was the gentlest, most vulnerable thing she'd said to him in months. What did that mean? Was she going to try to be nicer now that she was going to have another baby?

"I will be here for you, my…love." He winced. He'd almost said "my sweet" but caught himself.

An eerie smile curved the corners of her mouth upwards. "You bet you will, dear, because if you don't treat me the way I want, you will regret it. If you don't make me happy, one day you might not wake up."

She turned and exited the vehicle. After slamming the truck door, she marched with head held high toward their house. She waved at their son through the window as she went to relieve their neighbor from babysitting duty. Brenda was so good at turning her emotions on and off she could be an actress.

He reflected on her statement, still a bit in shock from her controlled demeanor and threatening words. Had she just threatened to kill him in his sleep?

Closing his eyes, he vowed that he would not stray this time no matter how bad things got. While he might crave sex, it wasn't worth her wrath. He'd just have to find other ways to meet his needs, because if he knew his wife, she wasn't giving him affection any time soon unless it was to humiliate him further. She'd rather slit her wrists than soften around him and be vulnerable. And that saddened him most of all.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing when you experience it in marriage... But what if you don't?

Tony Perotta and Hope Williams are each recovering from their affair and trying to work things out in their marriages. But what happened when they went their separate ways? Did they heal enough to enjoy their marriages as before, or were they worse off after their sin was exposed?

Their Separate Ways takes a close-up look at their hearts and their family situations as they reflect on the painful memories resulting from that devastating choice and they attempt to return their lives to normal. Experience with them the vast difference between couples who know true forgiveness and hope, and those who don't.